Check out the awesome new header, yeah? I thought it was time to do something a bit more artsy. I changed the accent color of the website to match. This is actually the color scheme I use most often in my art these days, and I do adore it.
Speaking of art - I'm going to try and get an art gallery up and running properly! I have officially quit Tumblr, meaning this is now my only significant online presence, and I'd like to use it to share my art with folks. I've also got plans to convert all my Disney blog content to its own website. My art might also all go on its own website, with a proper .com domain and everything, to look a little more professional!
The end of the year brought more change than I was anticipating. I had done a tarot spread earlier, in about October, about the last three months of the year. It was done out of some serious anxiety about my future, and I misinterpeted it out of a desperation for something good to happen. It did correctly predict some serious change in my life by the end of the year, but I didn't realize that change was going to end up being my own mindset.
You see, for the first time in my life, I have been able to kick my misery. I'm not taking it as a given anymore, and I'm learning how to fight it. It's been pretty eye-opening to notice all of the things that have made me miserable that I've just... let happen, because I truly did not realize they were even contributing so much to my mental health. Tumblr was one of those things, sucking away my time and autonomy and good feelings. I spent so much time on Tumblr just because I didn't know what to do and didn't want to be faced with the stress of making the choice. It turns out, when I have the time and energy to things other than scroll my dashboard, that choice isn't stressful so much as it's exciting. Full of potential. Tumblr was also a pretty significant source of negativity - it feels like everyone's angry all the time, even if it's lighthearted or joking, and it was really grating on me. Even for things that are justified, I just can't handle all of that anger and awfulness constantly. It was making ME angry.
I know that all must sound a bit cliche by now, but it's true. It's not the only change I'm trying to make - I'm learning to manage my anxiety, learning to remember and use my coping skills when I need them. I'm learning to be more in tune with how I'm feeling and what I need in general, which has been a struggle after feeling like I've gone through life at somewhat of a blurry remove, but it's been so important for my own well being. I'm trying new things, being less negative and scared of things in general. I've been watching movies! Even that's pretty crazy - I never watched movies before, out of a fear of new things and too much time taken up. But now I watch movies, and it's been pretty joyful. (Feel free to drop movie recommendations in my guestbook - I don't do horror or heavy action thrillers, though.)
My art has benefitted from this, as well. I've been playing a lot more with what I call "fun art". It's where I take all my craft and art supplies and... do whatever I want with them, basically. The point is to just play. It's a lot of finger painting and glitter glue, and it's such a great stress reliever. It also seriously helps when I'm piling on my perfectionist expectations for my own art, although that's happening less and less lately as I've learned to shift my perspective on art. I'm slowly convincing myself that making anything is somewhat of a great human achievement - an expression of something so uniquely human that has been in my genes since we did cave paintings. When I set that baseline - that art exists and is therefore incredible! - it's suddenly a lot easier to see all of the positives in my art.
I've rambled long enough. I'm going to go get something to eat, maybe take a shower, and hopefully get working on my to-do list. Have a beautiful start to the year, my dear, and do not forget to be kind to yourself (that includes with your resolutions). I will hopefully see you soon!
XOXO FXQN
. * ' . + mini-shrine + .* , '.
